Hi readers,
I noe I damm long nv write blog le..now back to writing..lol...Mon went to punggol to take some photos..found out alot nice place but alot of fly..sand fly...Worth it! Took a few nice photos..
Ytd afternoon went to punggol again..Took some nice river photo..Got fly oso but not tat much as mon...Tired sia..From punggol walk all the way to sengkang through the park..carried my heavy bag and walk...shag...
shall end here..need to rest le..
logging off
Johnny♡yiijiia
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Hi readers,
The only place that I can express my feeling..I scare I tell ppl..ppl mouth big..I do have friends that i can trust but i will scare they feel I annoying..So ya here is my blog anyway..oh ya plus writing blog I can look back wat I have done last time..I can keep my feeling here..It like a memories..hahas..okay here we go!
Morning! Now 6.32am, wake up jiiajiia at 5am den I lay down till 6am jiu get up le..cant slp..donno y..Before wake jiiajiia up, I notice my cable nv plug in =.= den my phone battery flat =.=
I keep feel tat jiiajiia like abit don care mi or heartache mi de..haiis..Is it my expectation too high? I keep feel tat jiiajiia still nv put mi 1st in her heart..haiis..even her cca is more important den mi..jiiajiia like nv put in effort like tat..okay..cannot say don have but abit..haiis..Is it I think too much? Cuz last time de jiiajiia will really ask abt mi..heartache abt mi..Anything she do will think of mi..Wont like left mi alone..Maybe she now busy with her sch work but wat abt after sch? She usually will take time out to go out with mi..Make time for mi..Maybe now im juz a obstruction to her ba..Ahhh..don think le..Im l8r gg to find jiiajiia after sch but she say she got cca..haiis..even fri.....usually it for ours...haiis..I try to keep myself free for fri to sun for her..I push away alot of things..Even I wan to surprise her now oso hard..Like wat I do she wont feel surprise..Do sth sweet she oso don feel it..Am I not good enough? I noe jiiajiia don like to compare to other ppl..but I see other gal de bf do sth they will like so happy and even post up to show off wat her bf does even if it is a very small things..But I wan to make jiiajiia happy like so difficult..Wat did I do wrong? I juz wan to earn jiiajiia a smile..haiis..Ahhh don think le!
Now 6.49am le..jiiajiia cant feel im sad? Normally I say try she wont oh...she will say no try..must! but tis time she nv..Normally jiiajiia will heartache zhuzhu den will sayang zhuzhu but nowadays jiiajiia like nv sayang zhuzhu..very less I can say..jiiajiia like wont heartache zhuzhu..Like still can feel jiiajiia still treating zhuzhu as a friend a much more better friend..I try to be cute, sweet in the message..jiiajiia got continue awhile den back to normal..haiis...Juz because I asked her to go study and tis is wat we become? I noe jiiajiia still recovering from the hurt I did..I noe it my fault to become tis..haiis..Only can blame myself..The feel jiiajiia give is tat when im physically ther she is different..really got treat mi like a bf but on phone is different..I donno y..haiis..I noe jiiajiia now wan to study hard and get gpa 4 but I oso make time out for you..My studies even worst..Need more study but still u need to rest from all tis..jiiajiia life like only have sch den no other stuff..den like no life like tat..I hope I have think too much..
jiiajiia 7.14am reached sch..Now take bus..reached inter oso lazy tell mi le..haiis..Now 7.52am le..went to toilet juz now stomachache sia..Drinking milo too..I need to go out soon le..Nowadays, when I say I love you or I miss you..jiiajiia will only ans oh...It actually hurts..haiis..Maybe I need to put in more effort to get jiiajiia love mi more ba..haiis..Now 8am le..need go out le..Reached sch 8.42am..Very fast jiu end sch le..No need to talk abt sch things cuz nth..10am jiu end liao..After end sch went to eat with Andy..We after tat went to take form for financial..After tat we went to andy house..Watching movie..Now 2.12pm..I miss my dear =( juz now when in sch eating, I make jiiajiia angry as I gg to lend esther money den jiiajiia angry and fa zhuzhu pi qi..fierce fierce ='( den I reject esther cuz I noe jiiajiia don like..zhuzhu will listen to jiiajiia and do anything tat jiiajiia wont don like de..
Watching tis show..A show jiiajiia don like zhuzhu to watch but teach mi to be a better bf..This show oso show mi tat gals always don speak their heart but their mind means she actually doesn't wan to be like tat..likes to hide wat they wan actually..Now 3.07pm le..missing jiiajiia..wonder wat time jiiajiia finish haiis..3.54pm jiiajiia finally text mi say she gg hm le ^^ gg out to take bus and now 4.06pm on bus 854 le..hope I can catch up with dear..Miss her soo much sia! *muackz* Now 4.54pm, in bus 812..nv see jiiajiia wonder jiiajiia took the bus juz now or have reach yishun..but jiiajiia take train no need 1 hr to reach yishun ar..hmmmm..jiiajiia 5.02pm text mi say she is hm but I 5.04pm received the message..What wrong with the internet...btw how come jiiajiia don ask wher am I? jiiajiia don care de..haiis..I ended sch so long jiiajiia oso nv ask wher am I..I nv say I go hm or wat..jiiajiia don care de..haiis..5.08pm reached dear house..
jiiajiia open door for mi but she like not very happy..Last time see mi outside house like so happy like tat..haiis..Now I come in her room sit down awhile le..jiiajiia oso nv like come and ask abt mi..like no guan xin like tat..haiis..Is it I think too much? Btw I saw her phone..jiiajiia really gg bali..haiis..Actually I don wan jiiajiia go de..But jiiajiia rarely can go oversea den jiu let her go ba..Juz tat I will worry..bu fang xin ar..haiis....Anyone will understand my feeling? jiiajiia now 1st thing come in take phone den lay down..haiis wont come and talk to mi or hug mi de......*pain* can feel pain sia..haiis..See jiiajiia so tired my heartache..haiis..Maybe jiiajiia tired den will like tat ba..haiis..But jiiajiia nowadays with mi keep use phone..Normally I wont use phone when dear is ard de..cuz pei jiiajiia ar..but now she with mi will play game..haiis..I got so boring ma? I feel like im juz a extra..haiis..No matter how tired I oso come to pei jiiajiia..show my efforts..I 2am slp and I 5am wake up..Slp awhile..I feel tired but my mind and heart say meet jiiajiia jiu no tired le..No tired but feel pain haiis..Nv meet even more worst..Miss jiiajiia ar..haiis...
Now 7.02pm..juz shower hao..wat really happen to us? Now 10.48pm le..Juz now eat jiiajiia make de cake in sch de..very nice! Den we help each other pick our ears ^^ sweet sweet =D no matter how jiiajiia change till zhuzhu will still love you! but pls don leave zhuzhu de side please! zhuzhu noe jiiajiia wont bear to see zhuzhu very pain de..jiiajiia will still care for zhuzhu de =) shall stop here le..
logging off
Johnny♡yiijiia
Labels: Happy, HeartPain, Hope, Jealous, pain, photography, Promise, Sad, Scare, shag, Sian, Sorry, sweet, Wish, Worry
Hi readers,
I gg to shorten the story..so late le..need to rest..okay here we go..
I bring my cam go sch..damm heavy sia..After sch I went to ite for tkd training and patricia is my 1st model..thank you so much mei! After take photo, went to training and I train till esther vomit..So sorry doesn't mean it..After training went to tamp to eat den go hm..After shower meet ayu and talk abt the exhibition thing and asking ayu is okay to be my model and she okay..accompany ayu go eat den go hm..Now 2.03am le..pei my dear sleeping on phone..gg rest le..tml 9am class..shall slp le..
logging off
Johnny♡yiijiia
Labels: Happy, Loves, Miss, photography, taekwondo, Thanks, tkd, train
HI readers,
yea it mi again..lol
1.30am, we went out quietly as we wanted to go mac for supper..On the way to mac, I call my friend ray to come along..So long nv meet him le..Brought hot chocolate for dear den I waited for my friend..He reached abt 2.15am..We den started to order food..jiiajiia wan to eat corn so I change my fries to corn and buy 1 more corn for her..hehe so dear got 2 corn ^^ We chat and slack till 3.30am den we started to go back hm..4am den reached hm..now 4.15am le..shall go slp 1st..good night readers..Will be back when I wake up =) brb!
Hi guys! Im back! Woke up at 1pm and nua on bed till 2.30pm..Went to brush up and eat lunch..now 3.11pm le..Now 5.16pm le..so sian..We watched show and nua on bed..Very fast it dinner time le! We ate dinner and prepare to go out cuz dear and yiying gg take money..They say 7.30pm go out so we prepare hao le jiu went out le..We waited till 8.15pm den go register cuz the person say we abit early..After register, dear and yiying went to take free food..It McChicken..No vegetable and sauce =.= so budget..At least put vegetable ma..After eat le..soon it time to go in..Dear and yiying went up to take money we den jiu go off le..
yiying went hm den mi and dear go to northpoint de harvey norman to see my camera..Wanted to buy sooo much! I asked and the person give my discounts and alot of free gifts even though the free gifts not very tempting but I asked them tat they have battery grip anot and juz nice left 1! wooohoo den I asked abt the total price and he give mi discount all tis so total is $2110..Ex sia but without the discount the camera and the lens is equally to tat price....So I called mama if I can lend money 1st..Buy early lo cuz the price and the battery grip is tempting ah..hahas..mama agreed! soo happy sia =D Buy le jiu went to inter and took bus 854 hm..Reached hm le..papa oso nv say alot of things and nv scold..hmmm heng ar..hahas..*happy*
Shall end here le..behind nth much jiu after shower den unbox everything lo..hahas..btw Happy Easter Day!! tata!
logging off
Johnny♡yiijiia
Labels: Happy, HeartPain, Loves, photography, Sian
Hi readers,
Here is the next post =) Sorry to let you all waited for so long..
today not much things to say..
We woke up 1pm and went to eat lunch..Now 2.48pm..watching show with dear..Now 4.18pm dear started to study..jyjy oh! dear study awhile jiu play game le..dear say cant go into head..Very fast it time for dinner le..Eat dinner with papa and mama today..After dinner, ate a few chocolates..fat fat liao..After tat mi and dear went back to room and rest..After awhile papa ask us go out as he got things to say plus he smoking..He talk to us abt our 21st birthday celebration thing..He oso suggest not to open chalet, he feel tat open chalet is waste of money and I agree with him..We talk awhile den I went to take heniken and drink with him..
Now 9.04pm le..gg shower..9.40pm done shower..really take my time shower sia..10pm plus we started to lay down and rest..We took some photos too, will put up some photos..shall end here..
shall rest..good night!
logging off
Johnny♡yiijiia
Labels: Happy, Loves, photography, Promise
Hi readers,
Sorry to u guys to keep reading my boring blog..
7.15am, I woke up as I dream abt dear den I realise tat I didn't wake up at 5.30am to wake dear up..sian..she text mi say she ending the call as she need to get prepared le..so I text her..Dear reply and tell mi to go slp..normally she tell mi go slp the next moment she will be beside my bed so I good boy and go slp..
Idk y..how I turn here and ther oso cant seem to slp..8am le..dear text mi say she reached sch le..sian..I so wish tat she bluff mi abt the event things and come over to find mi..I noe it abit impossible but I still wish..haiis..I miss my dear...Now 8.10am le..I still don have the feel to slp..juz now be4 dear text mi..I was turning here and ther already have suicidal thoughts le..haiis..I really scare 1 day I really go suicide den no1 will take care of jiiajiia le..
If I suicide means some1 replace mi le..but I will still watch her from far..be her only guardian..now 8.14am le..shall go slp awhile..brb..Im back..now 8.43am..cant seem to slp..sian..scare jiiajiia angry..haiis..I miss jiiajiia soo much..text dear..dear like don wan talk to mi =( wat can I do? I tried all my best not to show emotional in front of her but everytime I heard her voice I feel like crying den she sometime talk like so mean I jiu cry le..
zhuzhu don blame u..zhuzhu will wait for u de..haiis..9am le..missing my dear ='( how? wat can I do? 9.36am le..haiis..shall get up and brush up..raining outside hope dear wont go under the rain..watching doraemon now..eee only watch awhile jiu no more le..10am jiu finish..l8r meeting shao juan and pass present to her..drag so long le..sian..missing dear..wonder wat dear doing..haiis..10.08am le..dear text mi tat ther no rain..but jiiajiia 4got abt our promise le..cannot slp on bus without zhuzhu..l8r ppl touch her how..haiis..zhuzhu jiu easy worry ma..*worry* who dare to touch her I wont let tat person see till tml sunrise..
10.12am le..actually I don like how jiiajiia talk to mi now..so not like jiiajiia..haiis..10.36am, I went to cook 1 pack of noodles to eat..even though I don feel like eating but don eat l8r jiiajiia angry..so I juz choose beef soup noodles..drink 1 cup of orange juice too..
11am, shao juan text mi say she at cc le so I take her present and went down to meet her and pass her present..We chat awhile and go back hm..Tat present is from last year till now sia..so long le..Now 12.35pm donno dear eat her lunch le ma? haiis..gg to tamp to buy back the watch..sian..need spent money again..haiis..
Now 1.15pm on train le..I finally buy my bus concessions le..$27.50 finally drop..If not every month $52 ex sia..Brought my watch le..buy sth abit different from last time de..my base is abit blue in colour..$750 but got 15% so is $637..ex..heart pain..haiis..Now 2.11pm le..bring mama go eat chicken rice..we walk the whole tamp but like nth to eat lea..sian..don have the feel to eat lea..but still must eat..l8r jiiajiia angry..
3.37pm I went out to go green rc as I got my photography ig projects..Need to shoots some photos..Now 5.55pm juz went out of rc..walking to bedok inter..gg dear house hope can give her a surprise ^^ dear must be very busy..the whole day nv on9 wat app..Hope she wont tired out herself..Now is 6.04pm reached mrt platform le..gg tamp take bus 969 to yishun as it is so late now scare cant reach be4 jiiajiia reached..take bus 854 will be very long..I scare tat I like tat find jiiajiia, she will find mi very disturbing..find mi fan..sorry oh jiiajiia but zhuzhu really miss you..
jiiajiia go hm sure tired tired..busy whole day..jiiajiia..zhuzhu anyhow think..think u with other boy boy now..play till very happy..zhuzhu scare jiiajiia go with other boy boy..den I tell myself cannot anyhow think..sorry oh..zhuzhu really miss you soo much..Now 6.25pm I on bus 969 le..I ran juz now as I saw the bus came..if not need wait very long ar..I don wan let jiiajiia wait so long..Wonder wat jiiajiia doing now? Did she eaten her dinner? Did she drink enough water? Did she take care herself well? *worry* Think alot..scare jiiajiia tired out herself..haiis
Now 6.49pm le..saw jiiajiia retweet tis..
sometimes i feel like nobody likes me
nobody wants me
nobody needs me
and nobody cares.
oh wait its true.
It not true my dear..
I want you!
I need you!
I care for you!
Iloveyou!
dear, no matter wat I will be with you! Now 6.54pm..reached yishun le..gg take bus 812..alot ppl sia..wat should I do to surprise her l8r lea? hmmm ^^ hope she happy to see mi hehe ^^ Now 7.03pm le..juz went up the bus..Saw couples and think back when zhuzhu and jiiajiia on bus..zhuzhu will 1 hand hold the handle and the other hold jiiajiia..sometimes hand pain le still hold cuz don wan let u fall down juz tat nv tell jiiajiia..don wan let her worry ar plus it juz a small matter..jiiajiia fall down BIG matter lea..sometimes jiiajiia slp on zhuzhu hand will pain too but oso nv say cuz I wan to be like tis forever..feeling xin fu xin fu de..hehe^^
7.13pm..I get off the bus le..walking to jiiajiia house..7.17pm I reached jiiajiia house outside le but the wooden door is close..I heard sound so I think her mum is praying ba..so I called yiying to help mi open door..he nv answer..den when I hang up, yiying called back so I asked him help mi open door..7.20pm I went in le..yiying say my timing juz nice..mama praying and he was sleeping..psps..I saw papa den he say "she will be very late hm did she tell u?" I say I noe..8 plus like tat den end..I actually went to check abt the event on Google when I was on bus 969..papa say "u haven eat dinner hor? I oso haven eat..l8r go down eat u treat.." I was like hahas..
Now 7.28pm le sitting in jiiajiia's bed..so long nv sit le..so long nv smell till jiiajiia le..so miss tis smell..aiyo..jiiajiia y u so messy..everything oso throw on bed..>.< I got wrote sth on her post stick when I took her pencil case den I saw den I stick it on her laptop..hehe^^ I hide the 7-11 stickers into dear de pencil case too hehe ^^
7.36pm, mama cook my dinner oso..they eating noodles..mama cook 2 packs of noodles, add egg and alot of vegetable tat brought from Taiwan..mama oso add jiiajiia favourite vegetable hai dai!! hahas zhuzhu started to like le..donno y..actually alot of vegetable cuz of jiiajiia, zhuzhu started like to eat..funny hor..hahas..Lucky jiiajiia not here cuz got alot soup..drink too much instant noodles soup not gd..After eat finish, I help to wash the bowl and plates..yi an and yiying de oso..8.08pm, I went back to room and see my phone and I saw jiiajiia text mi le!! Happy ^^ dear say she still doing food and sending out guest..will very late den end..*worry* jiiajiia tired tired..hope jiiajiia eaten le..zhuzhu will at hm wait for u to come back oh..zhuzhu miss you..8.30pm, I on jiiajiia laptop den I try to unlock her com but I cant..I keep on try den the com say I need to go reset or try 1 more time den I jiu off com le..hope jiiajiia don angry oh..
After tat I went to shower..8.53pm back to bed den I saw jiiajiia text ^^ dear now den eat dinner =( *sayang* tired tired..zhuzhu at hm waiting for you oh hehe^^ hope u will happy when u see zhuzhu when jiiajiia finish 1 whole day of event..9.13pm le..stomach pain..keep booboo..smelly..9.28pm le..jiiajiia text zhuzhu say she on bus gg back sch le..yay! but jiiajiia go back sch still need keep tis and tat..tired tired..Now 9.56pm le..still waiting jiiajiia to be back hm..Must tell myself..when jiiajiia back hm din disturb her..let her go shower..after shower help her dry her hair den when dry le..let her slp slp..don disturb her..jiiajiia already so tired..must rmb..10.01pm le..stomach still pain >.< sian..cant wait jiiajiia to be back..so nervous hehe^^jiiajiia back everything jiu okay le..=)Miss jiiajiia so much!
10.10pm le..I suddenly rmb a quote tat I made myself so once again I pick up the post stick from dear de pencil case and write it den I stick on jiiajiia de laptop again hehe^^ I hope she still rmb tis quote as tis quote I wrote it on blog before..I started to get sleepy le..wake up from 7.30am till now..of cuz I cannot compare to dear..dear more tired, busy the whole day le..*sayang* zhuzhu see jiiajiia like tat *heart pain* =( 10.36pm le..I got headache le..sian..I juz now read back my blog..I wish we can go back like last time..like sweet sweet like tat..zhuzhu can do it..I miss jiiajiia ='( 10.40pm, papa walk in and ask abt jiiajiia le..he say "ni de laopo lea? hai mei you hui lai ar?" den I help dear cover say she on bus gg back sch..haiis..dear faster come back oh..papa oso ask mi hungry anot? he say fridge got curry from ytd de..l8r she come back ask her warm up..I say no need le..I full le..dear zhuzhu alone at hm hen sian..waiting jiiajiia come hm pei zhuzhu..
jiiajiia 10.45pm text zhuzhu say otw hm le ^^ *happy* but jiiajiia say her phone gg no batt plus nv bring portable changer..*worry* haiis..jiiajiia ar..zhuzhu worry lea..haiis..Juz now took out jiiajiia de post stick and write sth on it but i nv tear out..jiu leave it inside jiiajiia de pencil case ba..hehe ^^ now is 11.10pm le..jiiajiia is coming back le..so I must rmb cannot disturb till jiiajiia..l8r she angry..11.11pm..make a wish! done! hehe ^^ 11.21pm le..jiiajiia text zhuzhu say she on bus 812 le hehe^^ nervous~~~I hide everything and I close my lights le..jiu wait for jiiajiia to come back hehe ^^ jiiajiia will be very happy de hehe^^ nervous~~~ damm nervous~~ >.< zhuzhu like counting down sia..now 11.27pm le..hehe^^ 11.29pm, shit..almost forget to off power switch and fan..blur mi =.= zhuzhu always blur blur de..Now off everything le, more like it..only waiting for the main lead to be back ^^ *nervous* so nervous sia..
11.32pm le..hear lift and door sound..should be jiiajiia ba hehe^^ I hide in front of the closet den when dear walk to her bed, I hug her..den dear say she already saw mi standing ther le..sian..After tat, dear on the light and fan and I ask her tat she nv feel surprise? dear say no..My heartache le..haiis..I planned.....but fail...After tat I ask dear abt y her bag got slimming tea and dear say friend give de..drink 1 pack le no effect..I jiu more shag..cuz we said be4 no slimming pills or anything tat is gg to apply on us de..After tat my tears started to drop..dear behind mi like sign..I noe I very emotional and fan now..but wat can I do? I noe it tea but still ther is some kind of chemical inside..I don wan ur body to be spoilt..haiis..After tat dear went to shower..I can see dear already very tired and shag..I heard tat dear wed wont have phone..sian..how do I call dear? Is like I cannot find her the 1 whole day..11.49pm..now my heart more pain..Wo bu fang xin!! haiis...y like tat?! I miss her now even at her house..no phone how?! ='(
I tried my best not to cry in front of her le..I scare dear feel very fan..haiis..
11.53pm le..dear shower hao le..now help papa book phone number..hai le..shall stop here..will continue next blog cuz gg 12am so is tml le..
logging off
Johnny~
Labels: Angry, busy, despression, disturb, Happy, Loves, Miss, photography, Promise, Sad, Scare, Self-madeQuote, Sian, Sorry, suicide, sweet, Tired, Wish, Worry
