Hi readers,

Today im writing to express my feeling out again..I noe u guys will be like..wat?! again?! okay..This is the only place to express out as my dear don like to see mi share my thoughts or keep telling ppl my prob..especially to girls but i have more girl     friends (female friends) den guy friends..jiiajiia will get jealous and think tat y i cant share with her or y wat i tell ppl de oso same as wat i tell her too..This will make her like less special too..Im not saying my dear not special, SHE IS SPECIAL in my heart. I wan to make her feel tat she is special.

Okay back to topic..This few days i feel very weird..feeling like im useless, dear like ignore mi(although she didn't), cant fall asleep, feeling very stress, sad and many more..So i think about wat actually happening to mi..I den notice tat my depression came back to mi..Although it is not tat serious den last time but it will affect mi a lot..Not only on my sch works, cc works but my relationship too..I wanna thanks my dear tat she been holding on and accompany mi through out this..I really need her with mi..without her, i wonder how my depression will going to more worst.. At first, i tot i was actually mood swings but things nv get better..I went on to the website to check for depression symptoms and i am correct....I am in depression...Below is one of the website..

• Sadness and or irritability
• Loss of interest or pleasure in everyday activities
• Loss of appetite—or increase in appetite
• Sleep disturbances—either insomnia or excessive sleeping
• Agitation or slowing in behavior
• Fatigue
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Problems with thinking or concentration
• Persistent thoughts of death or suicide

• Feeling sad or "empty"
• Feeling hopeless, irritable, anxious, or guilty
• Loss of interest in favorite activities
• Feeling very tired
• Not being able to concentrate or remember details
• Not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much
• Overeating, or not wanting to eat at all
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems.

Women experience depression more often than men. Biological, life cycle, and hormonal factors that are unique to women may be linked to women's higher depression rate. Women with depression typically have symptoms of sadness, worthlessness, and guilt.

Men with depression are more likely to be very tired, irritable, and sometimes even angry. They may lose interest in work or activities they once enjoyed, and have sleep problems.

Older adults with depression may have less obvious symptoms, or they may be less likely to admit to feelings of sadness or grief. They also are more likely to have medical conditions like heart disease or stroke, which may cause or contribute to depression. Certain medications also can have side effects that contribute to depression.

Children with depression may pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that a parent may die. Older children or teens may get into trouble at school and be irritable. Because these signs can also be part of normal mood swings associated with certain childhood stages, it may be difficult to accurately diagnose a young person with depression.

How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

If you know someone who has depression, first help him or her see a doctor or mental health professional.

• Offer support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.
• Talk to him or her, and listen carefully.
• Never ignore comments about suicide, and report them to your loved one's therapist or doctor.
• Invite him or her out for walks, outings, and other activities.
• Remind him or her that with time and treatment, the depression will lift.

jiiajiiia did almost all this..thanks dear..without her, i wont noe how am i going to go through this..I actually better now..listening to music and do some small stuff to cool and relax myself...They said children would worry parents may die but im worry my dear would leave mi..Seeing mi like tat i scare i would scare her off..haiis...I den stress myself more..I stress my exams, cc stuff and tat y my depression back ba..Too many things i need to stress..I have been stressing myself for quite a long time, not only for awhile..so don say i cant handle stress..The stress i taking ppl cant really see it but it is quite strong..cc stuff not only doing community work but i oso help adviser too..This is more stress part..

Taking out time for dear have abit as i need to push away ppl..I not scare of pushing ppl away for my dear..Cuz i oso need to rest ar..Need to accompany my dear ar..She is more important..I oso not scare telling ppl tat fri(maybe), Sat and Sun is her time..Need mi and u need to go through my dear 1st..Tat wat i told the cc director but tis sun i going help her..Not every time i will accept cuz i see her oso really need mi..Plus i can pei jiiajiia on fri and sat..Sun jiiajiia can come over but jiiajiia tired tired...

Patricia sent mi this photo ytd and i find it quite true.."Everyone needs someone who can handle their dark side." jiiajiia is the one tat really can handle my dark side...Without her i think i will always outside finding trouble..fighting...all this...Thanks dear for all this support..I Love You!

Labels: despression, HeartPain, Loves, pain, realise, Scare, Sian, Sick, Stress, Thanks, Tired, Worry

Labels: Angry, crazy, Happy, Hope, Loves, Miss, Promise, Scare, shag, Stress, Worry

Labels: Full, Happy, nice, Scare, Shock, Sian

Hi readers,

The only place that I can express my feeling..I scare I tell ppl..ppl mouth big..I do have friends that i can trust but i will scare they feel I annoying..So ya here is my blog anyway..oh ya plus writing blog I can look back wat I have done last time..I can keep my feeling here..It like a memories..hahas..okay here we go!

Morning! Now 6.32am, wake up jiiajiia at 5am den I lay down till 6am jiu get up le..cant slp..donno y..Before wake jiiajiia up, I notice my cable nv plug in =.= den my phone battery flat =.=

I keep feel tat jiiajiia like abit don care mi or heartache mi de..haiis..Is it my expectation too high? I keep feel tat jiiajiia still nv put mi 1st in her heart..haiis..even her cca is more important den mi..jiiajiia like nv put in effort like tat..okay..cannot say don have but abit..haiis..Is it I think too much? Cuz last time de jiiajiia will really ask abt mi..heartache abt mi..Anything she do will think of mi..Wont like left mi alone..Maybe she now busy with her sch work but wat abt after sch? She usually will take time out to go out with mi..Make time for mi..Maybe now im juz a obstruction to her ba..Ahhh..don think le..Im l8r gg to find jiiajiia after sch but she say she got cca..haiis..even fri.....usually it for ours...haiis..I try to keep myself free for fri to sun for her..I push away alot of things..Even I wan to surprise her now oso hard..Like wat I do she wont feel surprise..Do sth sweet she oso don feel it..Am I not good enough? I noe jiiajiia don like to compare to other ppl..but I see other gal de bf do sth they will like so happy and even post up to show off wat her bf does even if it is a very small things..But I wan to make jiiajiia happy like so difficult..Wat did I do wrong? I juz wan to earn jiiajiia a smile..haiis..Ahhh don think le!

Now 6.49am le..jiiajiia cant feel im sad? Normally I say try she wont oh...she will say no try..must! but tis time she nv..Normally jiiajiia will heartache zhuzhu den will sayang zhuzhu but nowadays jiiajiia like nv sayang zhuzhu..very less I can say..jiiajiia like wont heartache zhuzhu..Like still can feel jiiajiia still treating zhuzhu as a friend a much more better friend..I try to be cute, sweet in the message..jiiajiia got continue awhile den back to normal..haiis...Juz because I asked her to go study and tis is wat we become? I noe jiiajiia still recovering from the hurt I did..I noe it my fault to become tis..haiis..Only can blame myself..The feel jiiajiia give is tat when im physically ther she is different..really got treat mi like a bf but on phone is different..I donno y..haiis..I noe jiiajiia now wan to study hard and get gpa 4 but I oso make time out for you..My studies even worst..Need more study but still u need to rest from all tis..jiiajiia life like only have sch den no other stuff..den like no life like tat..I hope I have think too much..

jiiajiia 7.14am reached sch..Now take bus..reached inter oso lazy tell mi le..haiis..Now 7.52am le..went to toilet juz now stomachache sia..Drinking milo too..I need to go out soon le..Nowadays, when I say I love you or I miss you..jiiajiia will only ans oh...It actually hurts..haiis..Maybe I need to put in more effort to get jiiajiia love mi more ba..haiis..Now 8am le..need go out le..Reached sch 8.42am..Very fast jiu end sch le..No need to talk abt sch things cuz nth..10am jiu end liao..After end sch went to eat with Andy..We after tat went to take form for financial..After tat we went to andy house..Watching movie..Now 2.12pm..I miss my dear =( juz now when in sch eating, I make jiiajiia angry as I gg to lend esther money den jiiajiia angry and fa zhuzhu pi qi..fierce fierce ='( den I reject esther cuz I noe jiiajiia don like..zhuzhu will listen to jiiajiia and do anything tat jiiajiia wont don like de..

Watching tis show..A show jiiajiia don like zhuzhu to watch but teach mi to be a better bf..This show oso show mi tat gals always don speak their heart but their mind means she actually doesn't wan to be like tat..likes to hide wat they wan actually..Now 3.07pm le..missing jiiajiia..wonder wat time jiiajiia finish haiis..3.54pm jiiajiia finally text mi say she gg hm le ^^ gg out to take bus and now 4.06pm on bus 854 le..hope I can catch up with dear..Miss her soo much sia! *muackz* Now 4.54pm, in bus 812..nv see jiiajiia wonder jiiajiia took the bus juz now or have  reach yishun..but jiiajiia take train no need 1 hr to reach yishun ar..hmmmm..jiiajiia 5.02pm text mi say she is hm but I 5.04pm received the message..What wrong with the internet...btw how come jiiajiia don ask wher am I? jiiajiia don care de..haiis..I ended sch so long jiiajiia oso nv ask wher am I..I nv say I go hm or wat..jiiajiia don care de..haiis..5.08pm reached dear house..

jiiajiia open door for mi but she like not very happy..Last time see mi outside house like so happy like tat..haiis..Now I come in her room sit down awhile le..jiiajiia oso nv like come and ask abt mi..like no guan xin like tat..haiis..Is it I think too much? Btw I saw her phone..jiiajiia really gg bali..haiis..Actually I don wan jiiajiia go de..But jiiajiia rarely can go oversea den jiu let her go ba..Juz tat I will worry..bu fang xin ar..haiis....Anyone will understand my feeling? jiiajiia now 1st thing come in take phone den lay down..haiis wont come and talk to mi or hug mi de......*pain* can feel pain sia..haiis..See jiiajiia so tired my heartache..haiis..Maybe jiiajiia tired den will like tat ba..haiis..But jiiajiia nowadays with mi keep use phone..Normally I wont use phone when dear is ard de..cuz pei jiiajiia ar..but now she with mi will play game..haiis..I got so boring ma? I feel like im juz a extra..haiis..No matter how tired I oso come to pei jiiajiia..show my efforts..I 2am slp and I 5am wake up..Slp awhile..I feel tired but my mind and heart say meet jiiajiia jiu no tired le..No tired but feel pain haiis..Nv meet even more worst..Miss jiiajiia ar..haiis...

Now 7.02pm..juz shower hao..wat really happen to us? Now 10.48pm le..Juz now eat jiiajiia make de cake in sch de..very nice! Den we help each other pick our ears ^^ sweet sweet =D no matter how jiiajiia change till zhuzhu will still love you! but pls don leave zhuzhu de side please! zhuzhu noe jiiajiia wont bear to see zhuzhu very pain de..jiiajiia will still care for zhuzhu de =) shall stop here le..

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Johnny♡yiijiia

Labels: Happy, HeartPain, Hope, Jealous, pain, photography, Promise, Sad, Scare, shag, Sian, Sorry, sweet, Wish, Worry

Hi readers,
here is my next post..
nth much today actually so im gg to shorten tue post for today..

I went funan den walk to bugis den watch movie den I take bus hm..tata end~

huh? too short ar? hahas kk below is the more detailed 1...

I was awake by my alarm as it is 5am le, need to wake jiiajiia up le..jiiajiia having pratical test today! jia you jia you oh! After wake jiiajiia up le jiu went back to slp le..1pm woke up and I lay down till 1.30pm..Went to brush up and text peng wat time he gg to return shirt and tag..den he told mi he with ayu now and she is sick so I ask him wat time he wan to meet..He say 3pm at downtown den I say okay..I called Andy to wake up too and asked him go out tgt as our sch is starting soon..Enjoy now if not not time to enjoy..Asked him to get prepared..

I went to prepare and ate abit of noodles as my bro is cooking..After eating I nua abit den I went out..Thinking of taking bus or mrt..I went out already 3.06pm le..den I took bus =.= stupid mi..End up I 4pm den reach downtown..ps ar peng..After giving back the shirt and tag we went to mrt to meet Andy..Andy reached 4.30pm den we took train down to city hall and peng go to his work place..So mi and Andy went to funan for a walk..Funan change alot after I have left ther..I nv came back since I quit my job at funan..It quite a memories..Very fast time reached 6pm le..We went down to see wat we can go eat..We decided to eat subway..ya again..I ate wrap..so long nv eat wrap le..After dinner, we walk to bugis...We saw new Tian Tian steamboat stall and beside it another steamboat stall too and it is from KSL de..omg! regarded..should have eat buffet..hahas

My buffet hopping haven die yet even though I eat lesser and lesser le..Wanted to try out all the buffet ma..hahas..Food is 1 of my interest oso lea..The KSL brunch de steamboat buffet $19.90 only..can try can try..hahas..We walk walk den suddenly andy asked wanted to watch Captain America? I said anything so we went to buy tickets for 8.30pm de show..Now 7.30pm nia still early so we walk ard bugis plus den suddenly some1 jump in front of mi..Shock sia..Is Jia Yi, so long nv see her le..She changed alot..attitude and characters..She learned alot of bad stuff..haiis..See my friend like tat donno how to say le..But it quite happy to see her doing well..She busy with work and soon tis coming mon she gg for her new sch le..She went in RP..She didn't wan to and I noe y..hahas..She went off as we need to go in le..Time flies..Watch halfway jiiajiia text mi le..She using note3 le ^^ dear don over use of data plan oh..Miss her so much today actually..walk ard and mine mind keep thinking of dear as I cant text her..Dear reformat her phone but still I do wat I texted her through wat app..I noe dear cant see but maybe dear change phone jiu can see le..so I don wan to lost tat chance..If really cant see den at most I tell dear again lo..

Show finish le..Cold sia inside...Not bad the show..So we went out and eat mac burger den went off to bus stop..Andy went off 1st as his bus came..Soon my nus came and I went up le..I called jiiajiia when I otw hm..Told her wat i have been doing for today..Dear say friday go eat buffet ^^ So many buffet outing..fat die mi liao..Very fast I reached hm..

Actually alot details nv really write out cuz donno how write..must on the spot write den easy..so tis is all for today..gg rest le..2.31am liao..dear waiting for mi on phone..cute dear de breathing sound ^^ good night readers!

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Johnny hearts yiijiia♡

Labels: Happy, lost, Regret, Scare, shag, Shock, Sian

Happy 3 Years 2 Months(38months) Anniversary dear!!
I noe I very fan..keep crying..I no use..haiis...Now 12.06am le..shall go slp le..jiiajiia very tired and shag le..shall continue when im wake up ba..good night!

2am plus den slp ba..ytd nite my tears like free flow..keep on crying..make till jiiajiia so fan..nv let jiiajiia slp nice nice..haiis..but I wan jiiajiia ar..haiis..3pm like tat den we get up to go brush up..and eat our late lunch..Now 4.24pm le..jiiajiia still cold cold de..haiis..wat should I do? Why it is so hard? I gg turn crazy..jiiajiia ar..zhuzhu love you so much pls come back to mi ='( I saw some photos dear took with other boys and I started to get jealous..haiis..Abit jiu jealous, zhuzhu jiu scare dear go with other guys ar..jiu will scare ar..haiis..ps ma..5.18pm, Now laying on dear bed with dear slacking..Now dear watching show on phone..

Now 5.32, jiiajiia stomachache went to toilet..zhuzhu make till jiiajiia angry..haiis..zhuzhu jiu...haiis..Feel so sad now..We slept awhile and woke up at 7.30pm..After tat we went to eat dinner..jiiajiia eat abit only lo..dear say she stomachache..*sayang* When eating mama say dear afternoon eat abit only..bread and potato..I angry! jiiajiia ar..pls take care of ur body pls..pls eat more..I don mind u wan to slim down but at least u need to eat proper meal ma..plus no more slimming products gg into ur body..apply on body oso cannot! zhuzhu care for u ma..don wan u to make spoilt ur body and stomach..Donno y now jiiajiia keep stomachache..haiis..*sayang*

9.15pm, I started to get ready to change clothes cuz need to go hm le..haiis..didn't wan to go back..I wan pei jiiajiia forever! haiis..Before i go off from jiiajiia room, i weight myself and my weight is 77.7kg..My weight DROP! finally i see 7digi le..I oso realise the number is 777..it is the jesus code! wonder wat jesus gg to tell mi? After tat jiiajiia send mi to bus stop and bus came after awhile..hug and kiss jiiajiia den jiu go up le..Called jiiajiia when I on the bus toward yishun inter..9.40pm, reached yishun inter le..Already miss jiiajiia le..='( haiis..9.53pm le..bus 854 come le..I went up the back sit on the left side near the windows..missing jiiajiia..9.56pm, how I wish I got a car now..go anywhere oso not a prob..need to stop here 1st..if not I car sick le..brb..10.55pm le..reached bedok inter le..alot ppl sia..on bus juz now keep talking abt bank acc things with jiiajiia..10.57pm, bus come le..went up the bus..11.09pm reached bus stop and saw papa, mama at coffee shop..sit down with them and bought a drink..suddenly jiiajiia told mi 11.11pm..so I make a wish le..

11.19pm, I ask jiiajiia should i go buy mac de green curry chicken burger? jiiajiia say buy lo..den i say of cuz jiiajiia wan zhuzhu go buy lo cuz jiiajiia wan mi to get fatter..jiiajiia ar..cute lea you^^ jiiajiia de weight now is 58 or 59kg currently..Juz now on bus, i told jiiajiia wait zhuzhu de weight reach 60kg den slim down tgt..hahas..jiiajiia don wan of cuz..but my weight wan to drop to 60kg abit hard ar..77.7kg lea..I noe got drop but not tat easy to drop till 60kg ar..Now 11.22pm, jiiajiia say feel like eating curry but stomachache ask zhuzhu how? den zhuzhu say eat bread den dip abit on curry lo..don dip too much..ops forgot tell jiiajiia don drink cold drink l8r more pain..haiis..jiiajiia donno how to take care herself de..haiis *worry* nvm zhuzhu will be here remind jiiajiia and take care jiiajiia de..will be jiiajiia de guardian de..

11.37pm le..papa ask mama and mi go back 1st..So we back hm..Now 11.51pm le..gg bong bong..12.30pm bong hao..I stomachache oso ar..shall stop here and continue with next blog post..

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Johnny hearts yiijiia

Labels: crazy, cried, cry, cute, Happy, HeartPain, Jealous, pain, Sad, Scare, shag, Sian, Sorry, Worry

Hi readers,
Sorry to u guys to keep reading my boring blog..
7.15am, I woke up as I dream abt dear den I realise tat I didn't wake up at 5.30am to wake dear up..sian..she text mi say she ending the call as she need to get prepared le..so I text her..Dear reply and tell mi to go slp..normally she tell mi go slp the next moment she will be beside my bed so I good boy and go slp..

Idk y..how I turn here and ther oso cant seem to slp..8am le..dear text mi say she reached sch le..sian..I so wish tat she bluff mi abt the event things and come over to find mi..I noe it abit impossible but I still wish..haiis..I miss my dear...Now 8.10am le..I still don have the feel to slp..juz now be4 dear text mi..I was turning here and ther already have suicidal thoughts le..haiis..I really scare 1 day I really go suicide den no1 will take care of jiiajiia le..

If I suicide means some1 replace mi le..but I will still watch her from far..be her only guardian..now 8.14am le..shall go slp awhile..brb..Im back..now 8.43am..cant seem to slp..sian..scare jiiajiia angry..haiis..I miss jiiajiia soo much..text dear..dear like don wan talk to mi =( wat can I do? I tried all my best not to show emotional in front of her but everytime I heard her voice I feel like crying den she sometime talk like so mean I jiu cry le..

zhuzhu don blame u..zhuzhu will wait for u de..haiis..9am le..missing my dear ='( how? wat can I do? 9.36am le..haiis..shall get up and brush up..raining outside hope dear wont go under the rain..watching doraemon now..eee only watch awhile jiu no more le..10am jiu finish..l8r meeting shao juan and pass present to her..drag so long le..sian..missing dear..wonder wat dear doing..haiis..10.08am le..dear text mi tat ther no rain..but jiiajiia 4got abt our promise le..cannot slp on bus without zhuzhu..l8r ppl touch her how..haiis..zhuzhu jiu easy worry ma..*worry* who dare to touch her I wont let tat person see till tml sunrise..

10.12am le..actually I don like how jiiajiia talk to mi now..so not like jiiajiia..haiis..10.36am, I went to cook 1 pack of noodles to eat..even though I don feel like eating but don eat l8r jiiajiia angry..so I juz choose beef soup noodles..drink 1 cup of orange juice too..

11am, shao juan text mi say she at cc le so I take her present and went down to meet her and pass her present..We chat awhile and go back hm..Tat present is from last year till now sia..so long le..Now 12.35pm donno dear eat her lunch le ma? haiis..gg to tamp to buy back the watch..sian..need spent money again..haiis..

Now 1.15pm on train le..I finally buy my bus concessions le..$27.50 finally drop..If not every month $52 ex sia..Brought my watch le..buy sth abit different from last time de..my base is abit blue in colour..$750 but got 15% so is $637..ex..heart pain..haiis..Now 2.11pm le..bring mama go eat chicken rice..we walk the whole tamp but like nth to eat lea..sian..don have the feel to eat lea..but still must eat..l8r jiiajiia angry..

3.37pm I went out to go green rc as I got my photography ig projects..Need to shoots some photos..Now 5.55pm juz went out of rc..walking to bedok inter..gg dear house hope can give her a surprise ^^ dear must be very busy..the whole day nv on9 wat app..Hope she wont tired out herself..Now is 6.04pm reached mrt platform le..gg tamp take bus 969 to yishun as it is so late now scare cant reach be4 jiiajiia reached..take bus 854 will be very long..I scare tat I like tat find jiiajiia, she will find mi very disturbing..find mi fan..sorry oh jiiajiia but zhuzhu really miss you..

jiiajiia go hm sure tired tired..busy whole day..jiiajiia..zhuzhu anyhow think..think u with other boy boy now..play till very happy..zhuzhu scare jiiajiia go with other boy boy..den I tell myself cannot anyhow think..sorry oh..zhuzhu really miss you soo much..Now 6.25pm I on bus 969 le..I ran juz now as I saw the bus came..if not need wait very long ar..I don wan let jiiajiia wait so long..Wonder wat jiiajiia doing now? Did she eaten her dinner? Did she drink enough water? Did she take care herself well? *worry* Think alot..scare jiiajiia tired out herself..haiis

Now 6.49pm le..saw jiiajiia retweet tis..
sometimes i feel like nobody likes me
nobody wants me
nobody needs me
and nobody cares.
oh wait its true.

It not true my dear..
I want you!
I need you!
I care for you!
Iloveyou!

dear, no matter wat I will be with you! Now 6.54pm..reached yishun le..gg take bus 812..alot ppl sia..wat should I do to surprise her l8r lea? hmmm ^^ hope she happy to see mi hehe ^^ Now 7.03pm le..juz went up the bus..Saw couples and think back when zhuzhu and jiiajiia on bus..zhuzhu will 1 hand hold the handle and the other hold jiiajiia..sometimes hand pain le still hold cuz don wan let u fall down juz tat nv tell jiiajiia..don wan let her worry ar plus it juz a small matter..jiiajiia fall down BIG matter lea..sometimes jiiajiia slp on zhuzhu hand will pain too but oso nv say cuz I wan to be like tis forever..feeling xin fu xin fu de..hehe^^

7.13pm..I get off the bus le..walking to jiiajiia house..7.17pm I reached jiiajiia house outside le but the wooden door is close..I heard sound so I think her mum is praying ba..so I called yiying to help mi open door..he nv answer..den when I hang up, yiying called back so I asked him help mi open door..7.20pm I went in le..yiying say my timing juz nice..mama praying and he was sleeping..psps..I saw papa den he say "she will be very late hm did she tell u?" I say I noe..8 plus like tat den end..I actually went to check abt the event on Google when I was on bus 969..papa say "u haven eat dinner hor? I oso haven eat..l8r go down eat u treat.." I was like hahas..

Now 7.28pm le sitting in jiiajiia's bed..so long nv sit le..so long nv smell till jiiajiia le..so miss tis smell..aiyo..jiiajiia y u so messy..everything oso throw on bed..>.< I got wrote sth on her post stick when I took her pencil case den I saw den I stick it on her laptop..hehe^^ I hide the 7-11 stickers into dear de pencil case too hehe ^^

7.36pm, mama cook my dinner oso..they eating noodles..mama cook 2 packs of noodles, add egg and alot of vegetable tat brought from Taiwan..mama oso add jiiajiia favourite vegetable hai dai!! hahas zhuzhu started to like le..donno y..actually alot of vegetable cuz of jiiajiia, zhuzhu started like to eat..funny hor..hahas..Lucky jiiajiia not here cuz got alot soup..drink too much instant noodles soup not gd..After eat finish, I help to wash the bowl and plates..yi an and yiying de oso..8.08pm, I went back to room and see my phone and I saw jiiajiia text mi le!! Happy ^^ dear say she still doing food and sending out guest..will very late den end..*worry* jiiajiia tired tired..hope jiiajiia eaten le..zhuzhu will at hm wait for u to come back oh..zhuzhu miss you..8.30pm, I on jiiajiia laptop den I try to unlock her com but I cant..I keep on try den the com say I need to go reset or try 1 more time den I jiu off com le..hope jiiajiia don angry oh..

After tat I went to shower..8.53pm back to bed den I saw jiiajiia text ^^ dear now den eat dinner =( *sayang* tired tired..zhuzhu at hm waiting for you oh hehe^^ hope u will happy when u see zhuzhu when jiiajiia finish 1 whole day of event..9.13pm le..stomach pain..keep booboo..smelly..9.28pm le..jiiajiia text zhuzhu say she on bus gg back sch le..yay! but jiiajiia go back sch still need keep tis and tat..tired tired..Now 9.56pm le..still waiting jiiajiia to be back hm..Must tell myself..when jiiajiia back hm din disturb her..let her go shower..after shower help her dry her hair den when dry le..let her slp slp..don disturb her..jiiajiia already so tired..must rmb..10.01pm le..stomach still pain >.< sian..cant wait jiiajiia to be back..so nervous hehe^^jiiajiia back everything jiu okay le..=)Miss jiiajiia so much!

10.10pm le..I suddenly rmb a quote tat I made myself so once again I pick up the post stick from dear de pencil case and write it den I stick on jiiajiia de laptop again hehe^^ I hope she still rmb tis quote as tis quote I wrote it on blog before..I started to get sleepy le..wake up from 7.30am till now..of cuz I cannot compare to dear..dear more tired, busy the whole day le..*sayang* zhuzhu see jiiajiia like tat *heart pain* =( 10.36pm le..I got headache le..sian..I juz now read back my blog..I wish we can go back like last time..like sweet sweet like tat..zhuzhu can do it..I miss jiiajiia ='( 10.40pm, papa walk in and ask abt jiiajiia le..he say "ni de laopo lea? hai mei you hui lai ar?" den I help dear cover say she on bus gg back sch..haiis..dear faster come back oh..papa oso ask mi hungry anot? he say fridge got curry from ytd de..l8r she come back ask her warm up..I say no need le..I full le..dear zhuzhu alone at hm hen sian..waiting jiiajiia come hm pei zhuzhu..

jiiajiia 10.45pm text zhuzhu say otw hm le ^^ *happy* but jiiajiia say her phone gg no batt plus nv bring portable changer..*worry* haiis..jiiajiia ar..zhuzhu worry lea..haiis..Juz now took out jiiajiia de post stick and write sth on it but i nv tear out..jiu leave it inside jiiajiia de pencil case ba..hehe ^^ now is 11.10pm le..jiiajiia is coming back le..so I must rmb cannot disturb till jiiajiia..l8r she angry..11.11pm..make a wish! done! hehe ^^ 11.21pm le..jiiajiia text zhuzhu say she on bus 812 le hehe^^ nervous~~~I hide everything and I close my lights le..jiu wait for jiiajiia to come back hehe ^^ jiiajiia will be very happy de hehe^^ nervous~~~ damm nervous~~ >.< zhuzhu like counting down sia..now 11.27pm le..hehe^^ 11.29pm, shit..almost forget to off power switch and fan..blur mi =.= zhuzhu always blur blur de..Now off everything le, more like it..only waiting for the main lead to be back ^^ *nervous* so nervous sia..

11.32pm le..hear lift and door sound..should be jiiajiia ba hehe^^ I hide in front of the closet den when dear walk to her bed, I hug her..den dear say she already saw mi standing ther le..sian..After tat, dear on the light and fan and I ask her tat she nv feel surprise? dear say no..My heartache le..haiis..I planned.....but fail...After tat I ask dear abt y her bag got slimming tea and dear say friend give de..drink 1 pack le no effect..I jiu more shag..cuz we said be4 no slimming pills or anything tat is gg to apply on us de..After tat my tears started to drop..dear behind mi like sign..I noe I very emotional and fan now..but wat can I do? I noe it tea but still ther is some kind of chemical inside..I don wan ur body to be spoilt..haiis..After tat dear went to shower..I can see dear already very tired and shag..I heard tat dear wed wont have phone..sian..how do I call dear? Is like I cannot find her the 1 whole day..11.49pm..now my heart more pain..Wo bu fang xin!! haiis...y like tat?! I miss her now even at her house..no phone how?! ='(
I tried my best not to cry in front of her le..I scare dear feel very fan..haiis..

11.53pm le..dear shower hao le..now help papa book phone number..hai le..shall stop here..will continue next blog cuz gg 12am so is tml le..
logging off
Johnny~

Labels: Angry, busy, despression, disturb, Happy, Loves, Miss, photography, Promise, Sad, Scare, Self-madeQuote, Sian, Sorry, suicide, sweet, Tired, Wish, Worry

2day woke up 8:30am and saw jiiajiia text cuz our called ended le but we don no...I text her den went 2 prepare le...Went out listening with my music on den went i reached Bedok inter, jiiajiia text mi..She woke up le..so early sia...jiiajiia called mi den we talk talk all the way till i reach sch...

After i reach sch, i went 2 do some pratice on the 60MCQ on internet tat teacher told us 2 do over the weekends...Last time i did it be4 and i got 56% like tat den i went 2 do 2nd time and i got 97% woohoo nice...hahas ^^ When i do the 3rd time, i got 100% sia den i do 4th time oso got 100% hahas..happy sia woohoo...scare donno how my exam will got so gd ma...

After the pratice, i went 2 eat breakfast den after tat i went 2 the exam room outside and wait 4 time 2 pass le...scare sia...Went in test le...The MCQ easy sia, almost same as the question tat i do online the 60MCQ..Less den 5min i finish the 30MCQ on the exam paper...After tat still got section B 2 do..stare @ scetion B awhile cuz donno how 2 do...

Nv pratice 4 scetion B plus my math not very gd den section B got a few math questions...but den i still manage 2 finish my exam in like 30min..if not of the section B i donno how 2 do, i already finish in 15mins le...tis coming wed oso have 1 exam, the last 1 le..After HOLIDAY!!! woohoo hahas^^

Came out of the exam room den we discuss ans with friends and i found out tat i got alot of careless mistake sia!! arh!!!! sian but mostly is @ the section B..MCQ ok...heng ar..section B 10marks only but still it carries alot of mark tat can help mi get A for tis module sia...hope tat my MCQ can get full marks...

We went out of sch and my friends are going Marina Square 2 relax, walk walk...but i don wan cuz jiiajiia got exam 2day den i going her sch 2 give her support ^^ Went 2 took train 2 her sch den went 2 blk6, 4th floor 2 wait 4 her..wait like half an hr jiiajiia came le..After we went back 2 Yishun den went hm...

Tml going out 2 meet jiiajiia as she don wan stay @ hm...I miss her sia..juz meet only den so fast miss le haiis..donno how 2 live without her sia...kk ending here le..
logging off~
Johnny~

Labels: Happy, Loves, Miss, Scare, Stress

2day lazy write ar...went sch do rehearsal again lo..but tis time got director giving comments...after tat i went 2 find jiiajiia @ Bishan as her phone need 2 take 4 service...After tat went 2 eat MOS burger den go hm...Reached hm shower all tis den jiiajiia send mi quote tat she made herself..*happy* see below~

 See below as i made 2 quote 4 her too ^^ juz tat mine not very gd...

tat all 4 2day..sian actually not tis short juz tat press wrongly den need rewrite but i mostly of the post i 4got le..nvm..going slp le nite~
logging off~
Johnny~

Labels: Happy, Loves, Miss, Scare, Self-madeQuote, Sian, Stress, Tired, Unlucky

2day nv go 2 church ar..tired cuz of ytd my cousin birthday celebration ar...Woke up @ 10am plus like tat den see my phone, already hang up le =( Saw a message it fm jiiajiia, she say she hang up 1st and go prepare...I went back 2 slp den woke up by 11am...

Meet jiiajiia @ 1pm CCK, so i got off the bed and went 2 prepare...brush up and pack my bag all tis...Went out @12pm plus like tat..Reached MRT 12.30pm le den jiiajiia text mi say she coming out now le...We nv talk on the phone while we on the way ther...

jiiajiia keep saying she will be late but i don think so..ya red line is slower den green line but i longer trip ma so jiiajiia confirm will reach 1st...She keep saying she will be late haiis...I listen music all the way till i reach Jurong and guess wat? jiiajiia reach CCK le..sian~ everytime i let her wait =(

I faster took train 2 red line and meet her...We went 2 the com shop as i need 2 buy things 4 my com and u noe wat? beside the shop ther is some promotion carry on in Taka Jewellery!! Wanted 2 go in and see but jiiajiia keep pulling mi away as she scare i will buy 4 her hahas cute cute ^^

After I brought my things den we went 2 walk around Lot 1 to find food 2 eat...Actually we planned 2 eat Mcdonald but we went in 2 find sit ther are too many ppl ar...so we went 2 eat Subway den we went 2 walk walk around...We went in a shop called "Smiggle", we walk around the shop and we found 2 tin of alphabet with pin on it...




We choose each other name out and brought it..hahas den when we went out, ther r 2 ladys holding ipad came 2wards us and ask us 2 register 4 the "Smiggle" and we will get free gives...We register le den they gave us free gives and told us 2 check e-mail and print out the thing and get a free sketch book...I actually wanted 2 give them the Sapura card so anything can find mi ther but nv give hahas...


After tat we went 2 Woodland and walk walk...We went 2 timezone den went up 2 cinema and watch movie..We watch "Priest"...is a nice movie..we watch normal 1 not the 3D de...






After movie went 2 Banquet 2 eat den went 2 timezone 2 take neo print...Fun taking pic with jiiajiia plus oso can edit hahas...The neo print machine not tat gd ar but nvm ar cuz cheap oso ar hahas...My Gold card got alot of $$ inside ar cuz last time MT but now nv play...should say nv play like last time so siao liao hahas...





After tat we went back 2 North Point...We up 2 library and slack around..wanted 2 find plug 2 charge phone but the plug is all 4 laptop so nv use if not kanna scold hahas...We went 2 toilet after tat...Came out le and jiiajiia wanted 2 take her comb out sth shocking happen........jiiajiia de wallet LOST!?!?!?!?


We faster back 2 Woodland de causeway point and find...1st we went 2 customer service 2 ask did any1 send any wallet to the counter but sad case don have so we make a report ther...After tat we went up 2  search ourself...I went 2 timezone and jiiajiia went up 2 Banquet 2 find...I think back and most likely is Banquet as jiiajiia put her wallet on the tray and i think she 4got 2 take ar...


While we on the way ther. i keep praying 2 the God even in the train...I find the whole timezone but nv see any wallet den i went out and i saw jiiajiia walking down..When she saw mi, she hug mi...When she did tat, i saw her wallet in her hands..She damm happy even mi!! heng ar!! if not jiiajiia go hm confirm kanna scold like hell haiis but now no le heng ar.....

I ask her wher she found it and she told mi tat wher we sit 2 eat tat place...on the floor=.= I think she took her bag den drop on the floor ar..haiis..blur blur de nvm found le so next time must be very careful le.....


We faster went back 2 North Point...Very happy on the way back hahas =D Reached North Point le den sth happen...don worry not a bad news hahas...shall not go into details...hehe ^^ After tat it already 10:30pm le so jiiajiia went 2 bus inter and i went 2 MRT 2 take train..faster ar if not reach hm very late le...


Funny thing is tat i play with my phone den nv see clearly den saw outside de board got write Upp Paya Lebar den the door going close and i ran out...When i went up, i see the station board it say Tai Seng den i like wtf?! i see wrongly hahas blur blur le...Went down and see the train need 6mins den sian diao.....


Reached hm almost 12am le hahas den went shower, call jiiajiia and prepare 2 slp le....2day really scare mi 2 death man hahas but @least she found it^^ jiiajiia cannot be so blur le, must look after ur thing carefully ar....
logging off~
Johnny~

Labels: Blur, Happy, Loves, Miss, Scare, Shock, Sian, Tired, Worry

Woke up @ 9am as jiiajiia called mi...2day sch starts @ 10am...All the pri and sec no sch 2day 4 them as the election thing...We hang up le den i went 2 prepared 4 sch..brush up all tis den went out of the house...jiiajiia in train le...Reached Bedok inter by 10am le..ya i late le...Reached sch 10:20am den went in 2 class..half on the class is ther le...

Y suddenly all scare cannot take exam wor hahas..tot they wont scare 1 cuz always nv come 4 class...nvm back 2 topic..very fast lunch time le...promise jiiajiia and she oso promise mi tat we 2 will eat more as we nv eat breakfast tis morning...

Went 2 Cafe2 and buy chicken rice(add rice)...full sia..drink Coke Zero, so long nv drink le hahas..jiiajiia see i so gd, got listen 2 u eat more more lea..u lea got eat more more ma? below is the pic of wat i have eaten tis morning...


See the rice so many...full sia...After lunch, went back 2 class...slack...nth 2 do sia, play game lo...text jiiajiia lo...After tat went 2 another lesson...study study lo...My friend jio mi go out eat Carl Jr. after sch, i was like huh? I cant finish lea plus i need loss weight and save $$..I oso juz ate buffet ytd...brother u juz ask mi on wrong timming sia...

Very fast sch finish le den i faster go hm...While i on my way hm i called jiiajiia, i miss her sia haiis...Reached hm den went 2 shower and use com...After awhile jiiajiia oso reached hm and shower le...We 2 promise each other will have a nap after we reached hm and done our things...

Everything seen gd and normal now but sth happen after all tis.........Her dad came hm and her mum told her dad tat jiiajiia got bf and went 2 ask jiiajiia 2 hang up the phone..I knew sth bad going 2 happen...jiiajiia text mi and told mi tat her dad don like she have a bf but more details i not sure juz tat i don have a gd feeling abt tis sia haiis.....Really scare her parents will don no do wat sia haiis.....I don wan let go~ NO!! jiiajiia will be my wife de!! WILL de!!! Thanks jiiajiia 2 pull mi back fm my messy mind..

After tat i unable 2 slp oso...Slept 4 half an hr nia...no mood ar...sian...I get off my bed and started 2 use my com..play fb, plurk and write blog~After awhile jiiajiia called mi but i scare tat jiiajiia will get scold sia...We keep hang and call till now we still on phone...don no tml wan go sch anot..no mood sia sian~Heart pain my dear as she need 2 go through all tis haiis~

jiiajiia need 2 slp early sia as she tml got 8am sch and got tkd training sia haiis~ take care lea...I wont leave you de as we promise be4 ar..I Love and Miss You!!!!
logging off~
Johnny~

Labels: HeartPain, Loves, Miss, Promise, Sad, Scare, Sian, Thanks, Worry

2day midnight 4am, i woke up and i feel tat my phone very hot den i fast told jiiajiia tat i need 2 hang up 1st as i scare my phone will explode...It damm hot like Iron like tat...1st time felt tis...After hung up, we went 2 sleep...I woke up @ 7:30am den text jiiajiia and she nv reply...I started 2 call her as she oso start sch @ 8:30am 2day...I called 2 times like tat den she pick up the phone...

jiiajiia still sleeping..She need 2 rush 4 sch haiis..Should call her earlier haiis...We hung up the call and started 2 brush up and prepare 2 go 2 sch...When i get ready 2 go sch, jiiajiia called mi and my mum oso tell mi 2 go eat sth as she brought some food..jiiajiia eat bread on her way out...When i done, i called jiiajiia as she on the train den she waiting 4 liping after tat...

I reached sch le den i 2day actually no need "J" walk de lo but don no y i go "J"..i siao liao ar..den the stupid thing is kanna bouncer sian~ Lanyard, piercing, Jeans and "J" walk all tis kanna caught sian..kanna record down name haiis....2day unlucky ar...

When 2 class oso do nth...talking with jiiajiia as she haven reach sch yet den she suddenly told mi tat she almost fall down..my heart is like almost pump out...keep telling her 2 be careful and takecare but she still very careless ar haiis...When she reached sch we hung up the phone...Send her quotes as i promise her tat i everyday will @least send her 1 de^^

When 2 another class..blah blah blah den went 4 lunch~ Went 2 Cafe 2 to eat as we manage 2 find place 2 sit...long time nv eat in c2 le hahas kind of miss tat place hahas..After tat went back 2 class and do nth=.= see friends play game and i juz slack around nia haiis..boring boring~

After all tis, it time 4 mi 2 be alone le...need 2 wait 4 time 2 pass and go 4 tkd training...Everytime thinking of tat person and thought it the rite time 4 mi 2 chat with her but sad case...she is busy trying out her friend liping's clothes and she say let her wear le 1st den call mi..I put down the phone and happy waiting 4 her 2 call back but after 30plus min, my phone nv rings haiis...I stared 2 text her and ask her tat is she busy? After a few mins, she reply say ya and will text mi l8r =( haiis~

nvm lo...girls ma..see clothes happy happy le...Now really alone in an air-con room using com writing blog, use fb and plurk haiis...waiting waiting~ Planning wher 2 go on Sunday with jiiajiia but Kok Yee want 2 follow as he bringing Jia Yi along oso...He is tat kind of slack slack type 1 but mi and jiiajiia not....Kok Yee keep saying wan go Marina Square watch movie den go Marina Bay slack sian~ I noe sit ther the wind very nice but quite boring oso..

Kok Yee like 2 psycho mi..He like slack den expect mi oso...lol...After awhile, jiiajiia finally text mi..thought she 4get mi le...but after we text like 2times, she nv reply mi le..I called her oso nv ans *Worry* After awhile, she called mi..She told mi she nv see her phone rings~but nvm happy 2 hear her voice^^ jiiajiia say wan come Simei find mi but i tell her go hm sleep, actually my heart say COME COME!!~ I miss her so much sia!! haiis~

We talk talk till next Monday as Sunday in labor day ar den Monday is public holiday..We talk abt tis cuz jiiajiia going eat buffet with Esther, liping and liping her sis...jiiajiia let mi go but don wan mi "pon"sch ar...After tat I went 2 ask my CA and yup is a holiday yay!!! Can go eat with my dear yay!!! hahas *happy* ^^ After awhile, gtg 4 tkd le...

Went 2 change into gee and go 4 tkd training den saw my sis sitting by the door with her firends...Sitting down with friends den i do my warm up...Very fast went 2 fall in...Do warm up den go 4 running, came back do kicking..blah blah blah~ almost all the same thing...Take target and kick nia but only do more den be4..tired~ After tat went 4 break den went 2 do kicking and foot step...blah blah blah~ After tat, sir wei kang release all those no uniform(gee) 1 hm den we start sparring...

Hurt my arm but now ok le...2day spar alot..tired!~ don no y 2day so tired sia..haiis...After sparring den end tkd and i went 2 change back 2 my normal shirt...After tat i went 2 eat with my friends and call my dear jiiajiia laopo^^ I miss her sia~...2day trainning end very late ar..9:30pm den end..We went 2 eat Mac @ Bedok inter...fat fat liao arh~sian...have 2 sleep soon and jiiajiia oso as she tml 7:30 need 2 reach sch cuz tml their sch got CCA fair ar...kk stopping here
logging off~
Johnny~

Labels: Happy, Scare, Shock, Sian, Tired, Unlucky, Worry

2day no sch wooohoooo hahas..woke up 9am 2day as mi and my sis going meet my aunt and go pray 4 my grandpa...When i woke up, i text jiiajiia den after awhile when i almost done preparing she reply mi and i was shock cuz ytd we sleep so late..It abt 9:30am she reply mi..

I ask her 2 go back 2 sleep as she is really tired..She went back 2 sleep den mi and my sis went 2 my aunt place's...My aunt gave mi and my sis noodle 4 breakfast den we started 2 get moving..We went 2 pray le blah blah blah~After tat went 2 nex mall 2 walk...When 12:30pm, i call jiiajiia 2 wake up..It time 4 her 2 eat lunch le but she wake up 2 eat breakfast=.= she eating her lunch l8r as her mum still cooking..

After tat we went 2 Ikea ther 2 eat...no rice ther, juz nice sell finish le...so only eat chicken all tis only lo...On our way back, my aunt ask mi alot of question tat is link 2 jiiajiia...After tat i reached hm at abt 4pm like tat..jiiajiia called mi den i went 2 shower..After tat jiiajiia told mi tat her mum saw her new fb acc but the funny thing is tat her mum nv complain tis and tat..

We went 4 a nap and jiiajiia called mi 2 wake up @ 7:30pm...have nite mare....sian...have a damm scary nite mare sia..haiis...When wake up keep swat sia..cold swat...haiis..The dream is abt my laopo leaving mi =( *scared* haiis...After tat we went 2 eat dinner den talk on the phone till now...sian jiiajiia still sick haiis *worry* Now i sick oso, got abit cough and flu....don worry laopo...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



dear jiiajiia laopo,
                          takecare of urself ar...rmb tat we r "heart to heart" leh..If u nv takecare of urself tat means nv takecare of mi..u sick i oso leh..If u don wan 2 see mi hurt or sick u must takecare lea...dear, u promise mi and i promise u tat we wont leave each other so tis promise cannot break de...u rmb hor? I love you laopo!!~I miss you!!~ see u tml ^^

logging off~
Johnny~

Labels: Happy, Promise, Scare, Shock, Sick, Tired, Worry

❤ Johnny Tan
❤ 04.11.1993 (21)
❤ single/attached to T.Y.J ❤
❤ Anniversary:1302112130 ❤
❤ currently studing in Temasek Polytechnic
❤ Christian
❤ Horoscope:Scorpio
❤ Zodiac:Rooster
❤ Martial Arts
❤ Taekwondo
❤ Photography
❤ First Aider


NIL

❤jiiajiia tumblr ❤
❤jiiajiia blog ❤
Alicia Mei
Wee Yin Mei
Si Hui Mei
Class412(2009)
Chu Han
Bethesda Cathedral Church
XueQi
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNinteen
ChapterTwenty

My Memories March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 December 2011 May 2012 August 2012 September 2012 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014