Hi readers,
Sorry to u guys to keep reading my boring blog..
7.15am, I woke up as I dream abt dear den I realise tat I didn't wake up at 5.30am to wake dear up..sian..she text mi say she ending the call as she need to get prepared le..so I text her..Dear reply and tell mi to go slp..normally she tell mi go slp the next moment she will be beside my bed so I good boy and go slp..
Idk y..how I turn here and ther oso cant seem to slp..8am le..dear text mi say she reached sch le..sian..I so wish tat she bluff mi abt the event things and come over to find mi..I noe it abit impossible but I still wish..haiis..I miss my dear...Now 8.10am le..I still don have the feel to slp..juz now be4 dear text mi..I was turning here and ther already have suicidal thoughts le..haiis..I really scare 1 day I really go suicide den no1 will take care of jiiajiia le..
If I suicide means some1 replace mi le..but I will still watch her from far..be her only guardian..now 8.14am le..shall go slp awhile..brb..Im back..now 8.43am..cant seem to slp..sian..scare jiiajiia angry..haiis..I miss jiiajiia soo much..text dear..dear like don wan talk to mi =( wat can I do? I tried all my best not to show emotional in front of her but everytime I heard her voice I feel like crying den she sometime talk like so mean I jiu cry le..
zhuzhu don blame u..zhuzhu will wait for u de..haiis..9am le..missing my dear ='( how? wat can I do? 9.36am le..haiis..shall get up and brush up..raining outside hope dear wont go under the rain..watching doraemon now..eee only watch awhile jiu no more le..10am jiu finish..l8r meeting shao juan and pass present to her..drag so long le..sian..missing dear..wonder wat dear doing..haiis..10.08am le..dear text mi tat ther no rain..but jiiajiia 4got abt our promise le..cannot slp on bus without zhuzhu..l8r ppl touch her how..haiis..zhuzhu jiu easy worry ma..*worry* who dare to touch her I wont let tat person see till tml sunrise..
10.12am le..actually I don like how jiiajiia talk to mi now..so not like jiiajiia..haiis..10.36am, I went to cook 1 pack of noodles to eat..even though I don feel like eating but don eat l8r jiiajiia angry..so I juz choose beef soup noodles..drink 1 cup of orange juice too..
11am, shao juan text mi say she at cc le so I take her present and went down to meet her and pass her present..We chat awhile and go back hm..Tat present is from last year till now sia..so long le..Now 12.35pm donno dear eat her lunch le ma? haiis..gg to tamp to buy back the watch..sian..need spent money again..haiis..
Now 1.15pm on train le..I finally buy my bus concessions le..$27.50 finally drop..If not every month $52 ex sia..Brought my watch le..buy sth abit different from last time de..my base is abit blue in colour..$750 but got 15% so is $637..ex..heart pain..haiis..Now 2.11pm le..bring mama go eat chicken rice..we walk the whole tamp but like nth to eat lea..sian..don have the feel to eat lea..but still must eat..l8r jiiajiia angry..
3.37pm I went out to go green rc as I got my photography ig projects..Need to shoots some photos..Now 5.55pm juz went out of rc..walking to bedok inter..gg dear house hope can give her a surprise ^^ dear must be very busy..the whole day nv on9 wat app..Hope she wont tired out herself..Now is 6.04pm reached mrt platform le..gg tamp take bus 969 to yishun as it is so late now scare cant reach be4 jiiajiia reached..take bus 854 will be very long..I scare tat I like tat find jiiajiia, she will find mi very disturbing..find mi fan..sorry oh jiiajiia but zhuzhu really miss you..
jiiajiia go hm sure tired tired..busy whole day..jiiajiia..zhuzhu anyhow think..think u with other boy boy now..play till very happy..zhuzhu scare jiiajiia go with other boy boy..den I tell myself cannot anyhow think..sorry oh..zhuzhu really miss you soo much..Now 6.25pm I on bus 969 le..I ran juz now as I saw the bus came..if not need wait very long ar..I don wan let jiiajiia wait so long..Wonder wat jiiajiia doing now? Did she eaten her dinner? Did she drink enough water? Did she take care herself well? *worry* Think alot..scare jiiajiia tired out herself..haiis
Now 6.49pm le..saw jiiajiia retweet tis..
sometimes i feel like nobody likes me
nobody wants me
nobody needs me
and nobody cares.
oh wait its true.
It not true my dear..
I want you!
I need you!
I care for you!
Iloveyou!
dear, no matter wat I will be with you! Now 6.54pm..reached yishun le..gg take bus 812..alot ppl sia..wat should I do to surprise her l8r lea? hmmm ^^ hope she happy to see mi hehe ^^ Now 7.03pm le..juz went up the bus..Saw couples and think back when zhuzhu and jiiajiia on bus..zhuzhu will 1 hand hold the handle and the other hold jiiajiia..sometimes hand pain le still hold cuz don wan let u fall down juz tat nv tell jiiajiia..don wan let her worry ar plus it juz a small matter..jiiajiia fall down BIG matter lea..sometimes jiiajiia slp on zhuzhu hand will pain too but oso nv say cuz I wan to be like tis forever..feeling xin fu xin fu de..hehe^^
7.13pm..I get off the bus le..walking to jiiajiia house..7.17pm I reached jiiajiia house outside le but the wooden door is close..I heard sound so I think her mum is praying ba..so I called yiying to help mi open door..he nv answer..den when I hang up, yiying called back so I asked him help mi open door..7.20pm I went in le..yiying say my timing juz nice..mama praying and he was sleeping..psps..I saw papa den he say "she will be very late hm did she tell u?" I say I noe..8 plus like tat den end..I actually went to check abt the event on Google when I was on bus 969..papa say "u haven eat dinner hor? I oso haven eat..l8r go down eat u treat.." I was like hahas..
Now 7.28pm le sitting in jiiajiia's bed..so long nv sit le..so long nv smell till jiiajiia le..so miss tis smell..aiyo..jiiajiia y u so messy..everything oso throw on bed..>.< I got wrote sth on her post stick when I took her pencil case den I saw den I stick it on her laptop..hehe^^ I hide the 7-11 stickers into dear de pencil case too hehe ^^
7.36pm, mama cook my dinner oso..they eating noodles..mama cook 2 packs of noodles, add egg and alot of vegetable tat brought from Taiwan..mama oso add jiiajiia favourite vegetable hai dai!! hahas zhuzhu started to like le..donno y..actually alot of vegetable cuz of jiiajiia, zhuzhu started like to eat..funny hor..hahas..Lucky jiiajiia not here cuz got alot soup..drink too much instant noodles soup not gd..After eat finish, I help to wash the bowl and plates..yi an and yiying de oso..8.08pm, I went back to room and see my phone and I saw jiiajiia text mi le!! Happy ^^ dear say she still doing food and sending out guest..will very late den end..*worry* jiiajiia tired tired..hope jiiajiia eaten le..zhuzhu will at hm wait for u to come back oh..zhuzhu miss you..8.30pm, I on jiiajiia laptop den I try to unlock her com but I cant..I keep on try den the com say I need to go reset or try 1 more time den I jiu off com le..hope jiiajiia don angry oh..
After tat I went to shower..8.53pm back to bed den I saw jiiajiia text ^^ dear now den eat dinner =( *sayang* tired tired..zhuzhu at hm waiting for you oh hehe^^ hope u will happy when u see zhuzhu when jiiajiia finish 1 whole day of event..9.13pm le..stomach pain..keep booboo..smelly..9.28pm le..jiiajiia text zhuzhu say she on bus gg back sch le..yay! but jiiajiia go back sch still need keep tis and tat..tired tired..Now 9.56pm le..still waiting jiiajiia to be back hm..Must tell myself..when jiiajiia back hm din disturb her..let her go shower..after shower help her dry her hair den when dry le..let her slp slp..don disturb her..jiiajiia already so tired..must rmb..10.01pm le..stomach still pain >.< sian..cant wait jiiajiia to be back..so nervous hehe^^jiiajiia back everything jiu okay le..=)Miss jiiajiia so much!
10.10pm le..I suddenly rmb a quote tat I made myself so once again I pick up the post stick from dear de pencil case and write it den I stick on jiiajiia de laptop again hehe^^ I hope she still rmb tis quote as tis quote I wrote it on blog before..I started to get sleepy le..wake up from 7.30am till now..of cuz I cannot compare to dear..dear more tired, busy the whole day le..*sayang* zhuzhu see jiiajiia like tat *heart pain* =( 10.36pm le..I got headache le..sian..I juz now read back my blog..I wish we can go back like last time..like sweet sweet like tat..zhuzhu can do it..I miss jiiajiia ='( 10.40pm, papa walk in and ask abt jiiajiia le..he say "ni de laopo lea? hai mei you hui lai ar?" den I help dear cover say she on bus gg back sch..haiis..dear faster come back oh..papa oso ask mi hungry anot? he say fridge got curry from ytd de..l8r she come back ask her warm up..I say no need le..I full le..dear zhuzhu alone at hm hen sian..waiting jiiajiia come hm pei zhuzhu..
jiiajiia 10.45pm text zhuzhu say otw hm le ^^ *happy* but jiiajiia say her phone gg no batt plus nv bring portable changer..*worry* haiis..jiiajiia ar..zhuzhu worry lea..haiis..Juz now took out jiiajiia de post stick and write sth on it but i nv tear out..jiu leave it inside jiiajiia de pencil case ba..hehe ^^ now is 11.10pm le..jiiajiia is coming back le..so I must rmb cannot disturb till jiiajiia..l8r she angry..11.11pm..make a wish! done! hehe ^^ 11.21pm le..jiiajiia text zhuzhu say she on bus 812 le hehe^^ nervous~~~I hide everything and I close my lights le..jiu wait for jiiajiia to come back hehe ^^ jiiajiia will be very happy de hehe^^ nervous~~~ damm nervous~~ >.< zhuzhu like counting down sia..now 11.27pm le..hehe^^ 11.29pm, shit..almost forget to off power switch and fan..blur mi =.= zhuzhu always blur blur de..Now off everything le, more like it..only waiting for the main lead to be back ^^ *nervous* so nervous sia..
11.32pm le..hear lift and door sound..should be jiiajiia ba hehe^^ I hide in front of the closet den when dear walk to her bed, I hug her..den dear say she already saw mi standing ther le..sian..After tat, dear on the light and fan and I ask her tat she nv feel surprise? dear say no..My heartache le..haiis..I planned.....but fail...After tat I ask dear abt y her bag got slimming tea and dear say friend give de..drink 1 pack le no effect..I jiu more shag..cuz we said be4 no slimming pills or anything tat is gg to apply on us de..After tat my tears started to drop..dear behind mi like sign..I noe I very emotional and fan now..but wat can I do? I noe it tea but still ther is some kind of chemical inside..I don wan ur body to be spoilt..haiis..After tat dear went to shower..I can see dear already very tired and shag..I heard tat dear wed wont have phone..sian..how do I call dear? Is like I cannot find her the 1 whole day..11.49pm..now my heart more pain..Wo bu fang xin!! haiis...y like tat?! I miss her now even at her house..no phone how?! ='(
I tried my best not to cry in front of her le..I scare dear feel very fan..haiis..
11.53pm le..dear shower hao le..now help papa book phone number..hai le..shall stop here..will continue next blog cuz gg 12am so is tml le..
logging off
Johnny~
Labels: Angry, busy, despression, disturb, Happy, Loves, Miss, photography, Promise, Sad, Scare, Self-madeQuote, Sian, Sorry, suicide, sweet, Tired, Wish, Worry
