Hi readers,
The only place that I can express my feeling..I scare I tell ppl..ppl mouth big..I do have friends that i can trust but i will scare they feel I annoying..So ya here is my blog anyway..oh ya plus writing blog I can look back wat I have done last time..I can keep my feeling here..It like a memories..hahas..okay here we go!
Morning! Now 6.32am, wake up jiiajiia at 5am den I lay down till 6am jiu get up le..cant slp..donno y..Before wake jiiajiia up, I notice my cable nv plug in =.= den my phone battery flat =.=
I keep feel tat jiiajiia like abit don care mi or heartache mi de..haiis..Is it my expectation too high? I keep feel tat jiiajiia still nv put mi 1st in her heart..haiis..even her cca is more important den mi..jiiajiia like nv put in effort like tat..okay..cannot say don have but abit..haiis..Is it I think too much? Cuz last time de jiiajiia will really ask abt mi..heartache abt mi..Anything she do will think of mi..Wont like left mi alone..Maybe she now busy with her sch work but wat abt after sch? She usually will take time out to go out with mi..Make time for mi..Maybe now im juz a obstruction to her ba..Ahhh..don think le..Im l8r gg to find jiiajiia after sch but she say she got cca..haiis..even fri.....usually it for ours...haiis..I try to keep myself free for fri to sun for her..I push away alot of things..Even I wan to surprise her now oso hard..Like wat I do she wont feel surprise..Do sth sweet she oso don feel it..Am I not good enough? I noe jiiajiia don like to compare to other ppl..but I see other gal de bf do sth they will like so happy and even post up to show off wat her bf does even if it is a very small things..But I wan to make jiiajiia happy like so difficult..Wat did I do wrong? I juz wan to earn jiiajiia a smile..haiis..Ahhh don think le!
Now 6.49am le..jiiajiia cant feel im sad? Normally I say try she wont oh...she will say no try..must! but tis time she nv..Normally jiiajiia will heartache zhuzhu den will sayang zhuzhu but nowadays jiiajiia like nv sayang zhuzhu..very less I can say..jiiajiia like wont heartache zhuzhu..Like still can feel jiiajiia still treating zhuzhu as a friend a much more better friend..I try to be cute, sweet in the message..jiiajiia got continue awhile den back to normal..haiis...Juz because I asked her to go study and tis is wat we become? I noe jiiajiia still recovering from the hurt I did..I noe it my fault to become tis..haiis..Only can blame myself..The feel jiiajiia give is tat when im physically ther she is different..really got treat mi like a bf but on phone is different..I donno y..haiis..I noe jiiajiia now wan to study hard and get gpa 4 but I oso make time out for you..My studies even worst..Need more study but still u need to rest from all tis..jiiajiia life like only have sch den no other stuff..den like no life like tat..I hope I have think too much..
jiiajiia 7.14am reached sch..Now take bus..reached inter oso lazy tell mi le..haiis..Now 7.52am le..went to toilet juz now stomachache sia..Drinking milo too..I need to go out soon le..Nowadays, when I say I love you or I miss you..jiiajiia will only ans oh...It actually hurts..haiis..Maybe I need to put in more effort to get jiiajiia love mi more ba..haiis..Now 8am le..need go out le..Reached sch 8.42am..Very fast jiu end sch le..No need to talk abt sch things cuz nth..10am jiu end liao..After end sch went to eat with Andy..We after tat went to take form for financial..After tat we went to andy house..Watching movie..Now 2.12pm..I miss my dear =( juz now when in sch eating, I make jiiajiia angry as I gg to lend esther money den jiiajiia angry and fa zhuzhu pi qi..fierce fierce ='( den I reject esther cuz I noe jiiajiia don like..zhuzhu will listen to jiiajiia and do anything tat jiiajiia wont don like de..
Watching tis show..A show jiiajiia don like zhuzhu to watch but teach mi to be a better bf..This show oso show mi tat gals always don speak their heart but their mind means she actually doesn't wan to be like tat..likes to hide wat they wan actually..Now 3.07pm le..missing jiiajiia..wonder wat time jiiajiia finish haiis..3.54pm jiiajiia finally text mi say she gg hm le ^^ gg out to take bus and now 4.06pm on bus 854 le..hope I can catch up with dear..Miss her soo much sia! *muackz* Now 4.54pm, in bus 812..nv see jiiajiia wonder jiiajiia took the bus juz now or have reach yishun..but jiiajiia take train no need 1 hr to reach yishun ar..hmmmm..jiiajiia 5.02pm text mi say she is hm but I 5.04pm received the message..What wrong with the internet...btw how come jiiajiia don ask wher am I? jiiajiia don care de..haiis..I ended sch so long jiiajiia oso nv ask wher am I..I nv say I go hm or wat..jiiajiia don care de..haiis..5.08pm reached dear house..
jiiajiia open door for mi but she like not very happy..Last time see mi outside house like so happy like tat..haiis..Now I come in her room sit down awhile le..jiiajiia oso nv like come and ask abt mi..like no guan xin like tat..haiis..Is it I think too much? Btw I saw her phone..jiiajiia really gg bali..haiis..Actually I don wan jiiajiia go de..But jiiajiia rarely can go oversea den jiu let her go ba..Juz tat I will worry..bu fang xin ar..haiis....Anyone will understand my feeling? jiiajiia now 1st thing come in take phone den lay down..haiis wont come and talk to mi or hug mi de......*pain* can feel pain sia..haiis..See jiiajiia so tired my heartache..haiis..Maybe jiiajiia tired den will like tat ba..haiis..But jiiajiia nowadays with mi keep use phone..Normally I wont use phone when dear is ard de..cuz pei jiiajiia ar..but now she with mi will play game..haiis..I got so boring ma? I feel like im juz a extra..haiis..No matter how tired I oso come to pei jiiajiia..show my efforts..I 2am slp and I 5am wake up..Slp awhile..I feel tired but my mind and heart say meet jiiajiia jiu no tired le..No tired but feel pain haiis..Nv meet even more worst..Miss jiiajiia ar..haiis...
Now 7.02pm..juz shower hao..wat really happen to us? Now 10.48pm le..Juz now eat jiiajiia make de cake in sch de..very nice! Den we help each other pick our ears ^^ sweet sweet =D no matter how jiiajiia change till zhuzhu will still love you! but pls don leave zhuzhu de side please! zhuzhu noe jiiajiia wont bear to see zhuzhu very pain de..jiiajiia will still care for zhuzhu de =) shall stop here le..
logging off
Johnny♡yiijiia
Labels: Happy, HeartPain, Hope, Jealous, pain, photography, Promise, Sad, Scare, shag, Sian, Sorry, sweet, Wish, Worry
